For the singles, all you’re focused on is how painfully single you are (and feeling like a total loser). For the attached ones, Valentine’s day is a set up for huge let-downs (and feeling like a total loser).
Here’s some reality for the ladies: if your partner's idea of romance is sitting in front of the tv with a beer, the date Feb. 14 will not magically turn him into someone who feeds you chocolate covered strawberries and champagne and surprise you with 10 hours of delicate foreplay.
I learned this in my early twenties. I purchased a dozen long stemmed red roses for my then-boyfriend. When he saw them, he blurted, “Oh, shit! It isn’t Halloween is it? I mean…(long pause)” The guy couldn’t even remember the name of the holiday, much less celebrate it.
I only remember 3 Valentine’s days from my past. The one I just mentioned, another when I decorated the bedroom with pink and red streamers (again, I was in my early twenties), red and white balloons, set out a pink beverage, it was cherry 7-up… and finally, one when I happened to be single that year, and threw a party for all my other single friends. (that time, I was in my thirties)
The point is, my most memorable Valentine’s days were about me doing something to make the day special. And not being attached to the result. (mind you, the time I decorated the bedroom, my then-boyfriend did not take me into his arms and tell me I was beautiful and how much he loved me. I think he looked terrified and bolted.)
Anyway, with this in mind, I decided not to blow off Valentines day, but instead, I set out to make today special.
I’ve started by sending Valentine’s greetings to some dear friends, via email. (including a couple of hideous homemade e-cards)
I’m taking the time to write this little essay to post to all my friends, so they don’t think they’re alone in having a less than fabulous Valentine’s day. (and a shout out to those of you who do have a great one!)
Earlier, I put on some inappropriate red lipstick, and did errands in it. (It was my only make-up, that and sunglasses)
My boyfriend and I will go out to dinner tonight, and I’m going to wear a red dress that I haven’t worn before, that’s been in my closet for months. Even if we go to a cheap chinese restaurant, I’m wearing a fabulous dress and ho-red lipstick.
I ain’t waiting for the romance-fairy because there is none.
Instead, I’m gonna do what I can do, which is have as good a time as I can, and if my partner or anyone else wants to go along for the ride, then by all means, join me in having a great time. This includes my friends, via email or any means.
So if you decide to join the Valentine’s day bandwagon, then drop all the expectations, let go of romance, and set out to have a good time instead.
Then, if any romance happens, it’ll be a bonus.
Happy Valentine’s Day all!
BTW, I already had some romance today. I saw a young couple, she was chubby and dressed like Raggedy Ann, in some bibbed dress with petticoat, almost like a square dance outfit. He was skinny, super long haired, goth/punk wearing eyeliner. She sat on his lap, and as people drove by, they stared and judged. As the two held each other, I recognized the “You and me against the world” thing, that was also a part of what they had, and it was really beautiful. Really really beautiful and romantic.
posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 3:31 PM
0 comments
links to this post
