Thursday, January 25, 2007

Yesterday, I'm sitting outside the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. A woman in front of me is helping her little girl into a stroller.

I hear the little girl blurt, "This is the best day of my life!"

Still makes me smile.

posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 9:36 PM 0 comments links to this post

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Joy Of Working At A Mortuary

Dialogue, between me and assistant manager:

Me: Is Mr. _____ 's autopsy done? Is he ready to be picked up from the medical examiner's office?

Assistant Manager: No, they sent his brain out for tests. They haven't got it back yet."

Me: Oh. Okay.

And for the rest of the day, I couldn't get that darn Wizard of Oz song out of my head...

'If I only had a braiiiinnnnnnnnnn..."

posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 11:00 PM 0 comments links to this post

Sunday, January 07, 2007


In a Korean store, a shop called Good Under Wear. Would that be versus, oh, Bad Underwear?

posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 12:54 PM 0 comments links to this post


While Christmas shopping, I came across this ornament that appears to be giving the bird. (and I'm not talking about a partridge in a pear tree)

posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 12:50 PM 0 comments links to this post

Monday, January 01, 2007

Shelby, my alcoholic friend, is very lovable.

So last Friday I stop by the restaurant where he works to meet up with him and give him his Christmas gift. He's going to the bar after work, his usual routine. My friend is with me, the one who got me a haircut as a Christmas gift. We all go to the bar, Shelby's home away from home.

Shelby is sick. Dog sick, snotty nose, watery eyes, congested weird voice thing going on sick. He gives me a hug for a greeting and a wet kiss on the cheek.

I grimace, but I don't say anything, as he's my friend.

We go to the bar, and he's not even drunk, and he's spitting on me as he talks. A lot. I move my barstool back. He touches me in between spitting on me.

I think, "As soon as I get outta here, I'm washing my hands. And arms..." I think, "I must NOT touch my eyes, my nose, or my mouth..."

At which point, he says something and spits in my eye.

Dammit.

The highlight of my evening (other than a kick-ass sexy haircut) was when I moved my barstool back to avoid Shelby's saliva spray. A cocktail waiter, with little room behind me and the wall, brushed his cock against my ass trying to get past me.

He turned back and smiled at me, so I stuck my ass out a little further, jokingly.

This is why I love gay men. I can do something like that. If I did that to a straight guy stranger, I'd be fighting him off the rest of the night.

With a gay man, I can have a little fun, have a few laughs, and that's that. And you know what? I like fun and laughs.

posted by Tampons and Ramen @ 9:37 PM 0 comments links to this post